People have asked if i want to reboot my blog. I am conflicted on the matter. I have had so many amazing opportunities and have met a lot of incredible people in this journey. This I cannot deny. I’ve had some riveting conversations with people i never thought i would. But how long can you do this for free? How long can you do this for “exposure” (especially when you know your male counterparts are getting paid)?

The last time I sat to write about my blog, I got a call from my friend saying her husband was missing. Search and Rescue retrieved his body from the Winnipeg River the next day. He’d died of a massive quadruple heart attack.

A few months later, they told us my Dad was terminal with Cancer. We had one last Christmas with him and he passed away.
I was almost non-verbal for a couple of weeks. I was still grieving the loss of a good friend and then my father died. My whole world crumbled.

During the summer my friend suggested I come to a protest camp with her. It was Camp Morgan, out by the Brady Landfill in Winnipeg.
It was humbling. It was sad. It was healing. And I met some of the most beautiful souls I’ve ever had the opportunity to meet.

It set me off on a journey that I didn’t anticipate. One I dont know if I was prepared for lol. But Creator said it was time.

Sitting with the feelings of being a “colonizer” and examining colonizing thoughts and behaviours you’ve had your whole life is one of the hardest things you’ll ever have to do. You’ll feel hate for yourself and your ancestors. You’ll feel guilt. You’ll feel sickened. You’ll be angry at the things you were taught. I can’t tell you that any of this is easy work…because I continue moving through this with a beautiful circle of people.

Have I been writing? Yes. I have been jouraling like crazy. I have been writing poetry and I have been writing songs. I have been writing work that makes me feel something. Because I’ve become a part of a community that allows me to express myself unreservedly. Who accepts me and the struggles I have….because we are all “decolonizing” in very different ways.

Will I write ABOUT country music again. Probably. It’s still my main go to Lol. (GOD. I know Morgan Wallen is a Jackass but that VOICE MAKES ME MELT! I’m only human, people! And….YOU ARE WELCOME for turning you on to Lainey Wilson ahead of the game 😉). Honestly, I’m taking guitar right now so some of these songs can have melodies. I’m enjoying writing the music instead of writing about it. Most of you dont know, but I’ve played some kind of instrument since I was about 7 or 8. I taught myself piano as a kid. I can even play multiple instruments (flute, piccolo, sax, clarinet, oboe if I HAVE to, standing harp, ukulele, piano and now guitar.)

I don’t know what kinds of twists and turns this journey is going to take me on. This blog may turn into a whole bunch of shit put together. But I would be remiss if I didn’t discuss the major things that were going on in my life right now. And part of that is that I’m an Ally and an Advocate. I want this world to be equitable and safe for people. Right now its not. That needs to change. If this means standing on a front line, serving at a food bank, or writing to the UN, it’s getting done. If it means standing up in a meeting and telling community leaders about themselves, it’s getting done.

So, I mean….you guys could do a whip-round for a bail fund. That would be nice 😊